Heavy steps, becoming heavier as he walked along without any sense of direction.,. He couldn’t get what he wanted to do. Where he wanted to go. He just knew that he had to get out of that place as fast as he could.
It was 5 in the morning. walking through the street with his dog, Tommy, on his side, his head buzzing with the chaotic drama of his life. He was trying to remember his better days.
“I wish I had more time… ”
Procrastination, in indefinite situations, is hard to contain and it keeps extending outwards forever. People suffer it quietly and privately which results in a huge amount of long-term unhappiness and regrets. It’s not that they’re cramming for some project, but they feel like being a spectator at times.
He reached a park nearby. Sat on a bench. Tommy sat closer to his feet. The sun was about to rise and the stars almost faded.
“I have only a couple of months left to live Tom. Doc confirmed, last night, that I have pancreatic cancer. He said I would live for two months at most. Maybe that’s my ultimate destiny. Or maybe, I could get lucky somehow ... ”
He thought about the good days of college. His friends, his parents, his Tom, who has been with him since forever. And of course the love of his life, his fiance, Ammara.
“Things we can’t see affect our lives much more than we think, boy. They are the things we obsess over the most. You know what, I’m just 23 and not even seen the world. I still have dreams, I still have plans. Amma and I were planning to marry next year”. Tom whimpered. “What? No, she doesn’t know about the disease. I don’t know how I’m gonna tell her but believe you me, it’s harder than you think …”
Universe has a unique way of responding to your prayers. We don’t get everything we ask for but we still keep at our knees. Because we have hope. We think nature would bring us harmony but it doesn’t always work that way. Nature has its own rules. Sacrifice is required.
“What? Tom leave my pajamas. What happened? Okay, okay. You wanna go? Let’s go, C’mon.”
There is always balance. Not a single thing, not a single phenomenon occurs which does not have an anti. Emotions work the same way. “I need to tell Amma about this”.
*Calls
“Honey! You know I was just missing you. How are you?”
“Hey, Amma. umm … are you free in the evening?”
“Yea, well I was preparing for my art exhibition”
“Good. Let’s meet at the cafe at 5 p.m”
“Everything alright?”
“No, It’s just I need to speak to someone. Well, not someone, You.”
“Wooo… you sound strange”
“Just get ready. I’ll tell you everything over dinner”
“Okay, see ya.”
Feelings. They connect you with people. They are happy, sad, emotional, or whatever. Sometimes they are good. Sometimes bad. Others, very bad. Like fear. It drowns you so deep that you lose control over many important things like reactions.
“Hey, honey. How are you? C’mon, let’s grab that corner table. So, what is it that you wanted to talk about? You sounded serious.”
“Ummm, actually I am a bit … ”
“What, serious?”
“Yea.”
“What’s goin’ on?”
“I don’t know how to talk to you about this.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
“Hmm… okay, so you know I was seeing a doctor.”
“Yes, you had an appointment this week”
“It was yesterday. The results came out.”
“And?”
“I have …”
“You have what? hn, what do the results say? Tell me you’re fine. Tell me everything’s fine. I don’t wanna hear any bad news”
“Well, it’s not that bad.”
“What is it?”
“I have … cancer.”
“What? Are you serious? No, you are kidding me, aren’t you?”
“Honey, I’m serious.”
“Oh my god. Oh my god.”
“Hey, hey, don’t worry. Just relax, okay? Breathe. I’m gonna go get something.”
“Waiter?”
“Sir, how may I help you?”
“Umm, two cold coffees with extra sugar and a fries.”
“Sir.”
“You okay?”
“You said it wasn’t serious?”
“I didn’t know what to say.”
“So what did the doctor say?”
“Two months.”
“God.”
“Listen. Even if this is happening, I don’t want you to be sad. I want to enjoy this time completely. Anyway, tell me about your art exhibition?”
“It’s…. next Sunday. Your sister is stage hosting.”
“Great.”
Water. Do you know what it does? It produces life. Except that, everything is just dirt and ash. The same is the case with humor. Humour brings life to a conversation. It makes it more interesting, it grabs attention, makes it easy to remember and a lot more ….
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Oh, hi sis, I was just writing for my tomorrow’s show”
“You are still doing it?”
“You know I am a comedian. That’s what I do. Anyway, I heard you are hosting Amma’s art gallery next week”
“And you heard it correctly. Here, I made you some cookies”
“Great, thanks”
“Damn, you guys are amazing. You know what, I love the audience I get here. you know, can I get a volunteer up here? Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Anyone remember the Lannister from Game Of Thrones …”
“Your brother is rocking the show”
“Yep. I don’t know how he’s doing all this knowing that …”
“Ya, he is a man of will”
Here goes the life again. Irrespective of what you do, the circle of life never stops. The wheel keeps rotating with or without your will. Just don’t lose hope. For it is what keeps us striving. Riddles, which we can’t solve, questions which we don’t know answers to, uneven stairs, which materialized unknowingly, shattered mirrors, in which we see a different us, all are nothing but our leads for the path we desire. Though there are sufferings but what joy would an Aurora give if it came out in the day.
-a
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